What are opening and closing, and why are they so expensive?
Opening and closing fees regarding any vault or tomb can include separate services provided by the funeral home. Typically, these fees include administration, construction materials, building permits from City Council, and opening and closing fee for the grave, which means: locating the grave and laying out the boundaries; excavating and filling the interment space; installing and removing the lowering device.
Can we dig our own grave to avoid the charge for opening and closing?
The actual opening and closing of the grave is just one component of the opening and closing fee. Due to safety issues which arise such as health and safety security on cemetery property and the protection of other gravesites, the actual opening and closing of the grave is conducted by the Funeral Home personnel only.
Does a body have to be embalmed before it is buried?
No. Embalming is a choice that depends on factors like whether there will be an open casket viewing of the body or an extended time between death and interment. Public health laws may require embalming if the body is going to be transported by air or rail.
Funeral Etiquette
Like everything in society, funeral etiquette and what is expected of you has evolved over time. As always, common sense and good discretion is the best guide to proper funeral etiquette. Here are a few do’s and don’ts of funeral etiquette.
Do's:
- Express your condolences – It’s not easy to come up with the words to offer sympathy to someone who has just lost a loved one. You don’t need to be a writer, simply saying something like “I am sorry for your loss, my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family” are enough.
- Dress fittingly – Gone are the days of dressing up in all black for a funeral, but jeans and a t-shirt aren’t always acceptable either. You should still dress appropriately and avoid any bright or flashy colours. Wearing what you would wear for a wedding, or a job interview would be the most appropriate.
- Sign the register book – The family will keep the register book as a memento for years. Be sure to include your full name and relationship to the deceased.
- Give a gift – You don’t need to go overboard with your gift, after all it is the thought that counts. Suitable gifts include flowers, or you can make a commitment of service to the family later. Make sure you provide a signed card, so the family knows who gave the gift.
- Keep in Contact – You may feel that the family needs their space and time to grieve, but a simple phone call or note after the funeral lets the family know you care and that they aren’t alone. With social networking leaving a quick note is as simple as a click of a mouse. The months following a death of a loved one is when grieving friends and family need the most support.
Don'ts :
- Bring your cell phone – Your phone ringing will be highly inappropriate and will cause a disturbance, so turn any ringers or notifications off. Even better, leave your phone at home or in your car, a funeral is not the time to be texting or checking your messages.
- Allow your children to be a distraction – From a very young age children are aware of death, and if the funeral is for someone that was close to them (grandparent, aunt, uncle) they should be given the option to attend. However, if it is not appropriate for your child to be there, and if you feel they will cause a distraction, make other arrangements for them.
- Be afraid to remember the good times – Funerals are obviously a time of grieving and mourning, but remembering the good times helps with the healing process. Sharing a funny and appropriate story is acceptable, and in some cases exactly what the deceased would have wanted.
- Overindulge - If food or drink is served, do not overdo it. Have a bite to eat before you go to the service; you do not want to be that guy parked at the snack table. If alcohol is served, limit yourself to one or two, do not become inebriated and risk doing something inappropriate and embarrassing yourself, family, and loved ones.